Is Hinge Hiding The Hot Men?
This trend is kinda cringe.
I’ve seen a few TikToks where the creator laments about Hinge’s algorithm.
They’re noticing the more attractive profiles are behind a paywall now. The profiles of the dudes who have all the attributes most women want, can only be swiped on once a week if you’re not a paying member.
This problem doesn’t seem to be an issue with Bumble, Tinder, or any other app. Creators are being super candid. One creator flat out called the men she’s seeing ugly. Many women say the app has caused them to question their self-worth. They started to think their matches were based on the fact they’re not attractive themselves.
If several women are claiming Hinge is gatekeeping profiles, maybe they’re right. The apps benefit from paying users and users who keep coming back. I’m not entirely sure how the algorithm identifies who is hot or not, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it could do that. Technology has come a long way.
I’m not on dating apps anymore. I gave them up about two years ago. I jumped back on Hinge for a few weeks, a few months back, to write some think pieces on it. Since then, I haven’t been swiping. Dating apps don’t work for everyone. I don’t think the man for me is on an app. Ditching online dating has been positive for my happiness, so I won’t be going back to them.
However, I find the current commentary on Hinge fascinating.
I noticed that Hinge has limited the amount of swipes or roses you can give to a profile you really like. They have a section for stand out profiles, but you can only swipe on them within a certain time frame. You have to pay to fully fill out your bio too. This is smart on their part. The rest of this article is gonna be brutally honest. So reader beware. This is your trigger warning.
There is a stark difference between the stand out profiles and the regular profiles you can swipe on. Like, it’s glaringly obvious. The stand out profiles look like Brody Jenner circa 2009. The regular profiles are awkward. They don’t have the complete profile filled out. They have terrible pictures. Some of the men look like they’ve never seen a Pinterest board or styled an outfit in their life. They clearly don’t have the grooming habits of a grown man. Yes—
The regular profiles are less attractive.
However, I have a few issues with the girlies complaining about the gatekeeping.
First off, it makes us look incredibly shallow. It affirms the notion that women only swipe right on the same few attractive men. That only a small amount of men get attention on dating apps. Mind you, the complaints are coming from younger women who are also attractive, but still. It’s illuminating how superficial we really are.
Additionally, some of the standout profiles don’t actually look real. I pointed this out in my Ashley Madison article. Ashely Madison was creating fake profiles to keep people on the paid site. Some men got hip to this and complained. I bet dating apps are no different.
Turns out, men are having this same problem. They’re also complaining about not getting attractive profiles to swipe right on. This article points the problem out from a male perspective.
“So does Hinge know how attractive you are? Sort of. The Hinge app gathers all sorts of data about the profiles you engage with and those that like you back. While it doesn’t pair profiles on “attractiveness”, it does effectively compare you to other people based on how your profile appeals to users.
Hinge may not know exactly how attractive you are, but that is what it’s trying to work out. It’s not based on your pictures, but on the kinds of interactions you’re having on the app. Hinge hopes it can work out not just the type of profiles you like, but the type that’s likely to end up in a perfect match.”
We can’t verify if this is true. Only the employees at Hinge know how the algorithm actually works. However, we do know that Hinge, “learns,” who to pair you with. I talked about this in my article on Medium. I even tried to manipulate my own algorithm on there. I started swiping on Asian profiles I saw. Then, after a few swipes, I was only seeing Asian men as options. I did the same thing with other factors. The app does in fact learn more about your preferences and then tries to show you those profiles. It also shows you who it thinks will swipe right on you.
I have a hard time with how brutally honest some women are on TikTok.
They’re making comments like, “Why would this person think they have a chance with me?” That’s mean and men probably think that about us too. The difference is, they’ll still sleep with us anyway.
I recently came across a Reddit post where men were complaining about women denying that looks are a factor when dating. Is this something we have to confirm or deny? It’s a no-brainer that looks matter when dating. Dating is discriminatory by its nature. You can’t date everyone. Do women have to explicitly tell men they date people they’re attracted to? This post was overwhelmed with men commenting things similar to this:
Women should just be honest about it. They say looks don’t matter and other factors are more important, yet the people they swipe right on are exceptionally attractive. If you’re ugly, it’s annoying to be constantly gaslit.
Based on what I’ve seen on TikTok—the girlies are confirming the dating apps are the attraction olympics. At least when you’re in your early twenties. Both men and women are being humbled.
When either party doesn’t seem to attract exactly what they want, they opt out. They don’t readjust their standards. They stop dating altogether. They stop dating, but don’t seek out alternative ways to meet people. They don’t speed date. They don’t pick up several new hobbies. They don’t leave their house to walk around public places. They don’t work from a coffee shop. They don’t join their local social club. They don’t host a party. They don’t make plans to travel. They quit dating apps, but don’t substitute it with alternative social interaction.
The videos on TikTok give men a lot of ammo to call us out.
However, if you’re simply looking for the hottest catch, it might be because you’re looking for the wrong things when it comes to a lasting relationship. The people complaining, will quickly learn real attraction comes from spending time around someone.
In my experience, the most attractive dude can be a complete mess.
Buy Me A Coffee.
Read Melissa Alvarez’s Blog On Medium. (While you still can.)
The more I read about dating in your generation, the more confirmation bias I get to my working theory that y'all are a hot mess.
I didn't date much. I picked the first human who met my core requirements. She cares about people, doesn't mind raising children, and is relatively well put together.
I won't lie and say our 20 year plus partnership is full of daffodils and roses, there are some large areas of the garden with thorns and sharp rocks, but all things considered, with years of therapy both individually and as a pair, we do our best to make it work and sometimes we don't. Because life.
From an evolutionary perspective looks matter. And people who take that path usually follow the evolution path. Hook up, then move on. The best males spread their seeds. And the best females make the next set of kings.
I think the most fruitful approach is to pick a human who is willing to work with us. And as a team, build the best relationship. Because our values change, our priorities change, and our expectations change over time. The best mates are the one who chose to hang on for the ride.
How do you find said mate, look out in the wild, and talk about deeper things.